As individuals, each of us is a business - the business of life. Each of us, through our daily communications and daily actions, makes an impact on the people with whom we come in contact. This impact may be positive or negative, and it may last a lifetime.

Sometimes I ask myself, “Is this how I want to be thought of and viewed?” During business meetings, networking events and social gatherings outside our family, we tend to put our best foot forward. After a business interaction, most of us analyze how we performed and evaluate how we could do better the next time. Our goal is to maintain that business relationship for the long term.

But what foot do we put forward with our family? And during crisis situations that can have a lifetime effect on our relationships, how are our actions affecting those precious family members? Do we analyze how we can do better next time, and truly strive to do it?

Let me describe a recent emergency within my family, and review how a technique often used in business customer service was applied to our family situation.

Recently my mom had a serious operation. The crisis was immediate and unexpected. I heard about it as I was 2000 miles from home, stranded in a crowded airport and facing long departure delays. I was distraught and upset. I felt disempowered. I felt frustrated. I felt sad. As with all crises we go in and out of many emotions, sometimes deliberately and sometimes not.

As time progressed, I became self-involved. My emotions, and my concerns for my mom and dad were of major importance. At that crisis time, I was not focusing on my husband, my children or my brother. I wasn’t exactly pleasant to be around. Didn’t they understand my problem? Couldn’t they read my mind and give me what I needed? Couldn’t they help me maintain calmness in this time of turbulence.

These are the same thoughts that customer service people think in times of crisis. “I’m stressed. Don’t you think I am trying to fix the problem? I’m doing all I can with the resources I have!” In the face of a crisis and high frustration, the customer service representative may even blame the problem or his/her behavior on others.

I found myself deep into this type of behavior. I forced myself to step back and self analyze. This was not easy because it was simply easier to blame others. I asked myself:

• How am I choosing to behave during this crisis?
  
• Am I clearly communicating my problem to others?
  
• Which are actual problems, and which are simply minor challenges?
  
• Am I putting the whole situation in proper context in Life’s bigger picture?
  
• Is my behavior “productive or non-productive”? (This is a question my family frequently asks each other.)
  
• How can I clearly communicate solutions?
  
• Where can I get help?

Pegine Echevarria, MSW, copyrights all material on this site. Information from this site may be reprinted or quoted by members of the media, provided a specific credit to Pegine Echevarria, MSW is included.
This site designed by Herbin Consulting©