Seesaw of Shame, Failure, Success at Professional Conferences - Pegine

Seesaw of Shame, Failure, Success at Professional Conferences

What will you think of me? That thought crosses the minds of thousands of leaders going to professional conferences.

The Seesaw of Shame, Failure, Success at Professional Conferences


Pegine Leadership Business Motivational Speaker 904.280.8806You are a few weeks out before your professional conference and I wanted to address an issue that I experience, have experienced and know others experience. The conflict within of shame, failure, and success. At your professional conference, the “How is everything?”Oh great… got this, got that, life is amazing‘ happens day in and day out.

Except in our head. The feelings of shame or failure can infect us. It is like a really huge magnifying glass focusing on what isn’t working, what hasn’t worked and the failings within.

If you go to professional conferences, no matter your leadership level, the see-saw is a natural occurrence. You see their outside presentation and compare what you see to your inside thoughts.

In that moment, the shame of not being a superstar infects our brain and makes us feel, okay … like crap.Pegine Leadership Motivational Speaker 904.280.8806

Shame is defined as the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another: Failure defined as an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success:

I am a therapist. You might not know that I hold a Masters in Social Work and was a therapist for years, then a therapist for leaders and now I coach leaders. I was always curious about what held people back and what makes them succeed, that is why I do what I do, make leaders great.

Life is funny because we all know that knowing and living it are two different things. If sharing my truth helps you then yay for me. If sharing my truth doesn’t ..oh well.

Every year before my professional conference I go through this shame and success see-saw.

I know that feeling, live that feeling and know that some of you experience the seesaw too. So I am here to say this to you.

I’m saying this to you, magnificent one, I am saying this to you as much as I am saying it to me.

I love you. I adore you and I think you are a rock star.

I’m writing this as I think of each one of you and think how incredible you are for all you do and how you do what you do. Each one of you is pushing, prodding, falling, getting up, smiling, being positive and committed.

Even when you feel like crap.
Even when you feel amazing.

I know I am going to get messages from readers. Are you alright? Is everything alright? Are you okay?

Yes and no. Like I said every year before my professional conference I go through this shame and success see-saw.

Maybe you get this? I believe others have experienced this too.

As a leader at a professional conference, you are either a rock star or hidden

Out there (outside of my professional conferences) I’m a rock star or just a woman in pj’s writing to my readers

At my professional conference. I am either not a rock star, or being put on a pedestal that is impossible for any human to be real.

I’m real, I’m human, I’m a rock star and I experience the seesaw of shame, failure, success before your professional conference.

Yes.. life, health, family doing great. Bureaus calling, publicity opportunities happening, invitations, and lots of love. Coaching clients coming in and a new online exclusive membership for leaders, authorities, and experts is launching in October. Yay for me! My politician client hired me for another coaching session and I get to work on her event her inauguration. I am celebrating 32 years of marriage WOW. Mom is great. Love where I live. Daughter not being deployed to Iraq.

No… I gained weight and am filled with stress, Cash flow is tight, the 2 books I intended to write and produce didn’t happen. My big contracts are still in limbo. I spend way too much time leading PWNSA and my other activities. My daughter deployed to another, safer area. So is moving to the other side of the world and she is my buddy so I’m sad and happy for her (she is glowing and it’s awesome for her.)

I know that some of you feel like this.

Here are tips to deal with the see-saw?

  1. Meditate

Get yourself focused within. When you meditate for 15 minutes a day you will feel calm, cool and collected.  There is clarity about who you are, what you do and how you do it.

  1. Be honest and balanced

Real leaders are multi-dimensional. They have complex lives and have a strong awareness of their strengths and their blessings. They also know the challenges. They use these conferences to find solutions.

So be honest and ask for ideas and solutions.  You never know what rich resources you will uncover.


  1. Take time outside.

Go for a walk, break up your day to see nature. Get out of the building. Fresh air and appreciating nature helps a lot.


  1. Keep a notebook and list what you have accomplished.

You don’t have to share, this is for you. This is your power book, your connection to your inner source. You got this.

So grateful for I can share with you.

With you  I have a playground, a bunch of seesaws and slides and laughter. Here I can be me..all of me and for that I am grateful.

About the Author


Pegine makes leaders great! A leadership business motivational keynote speaker and producer. Pegine’s energy, comedy, experience, tell it like it keynotes provide real deal strategies, tips, and techniques to have impact, influence and be able to i

nspire others. She pushes, prods and provokes the audience to get out of their comfort zone and lead. Pegine has spoken to and produced leadership experiences for over one million people and hundreds of organizations. Clients include ten percent of the Fortune 500 global corporations, twelve percent of Direct Selling News 2016 North American Top 50 and all branches of the US military.  Motivational Speakers Hall of Fame speaker. Award-winning author. Five books. Former TV personality on leadership and women in the workplace. Therapist. Former President of a Direct Sales company, National Sales Manager, Executive Director of largest Latina serving agency, lived in Spain and Mexico.  Programs in English and Spanish. She makes leaders great!

Pegine is the author of ‘Sometimes You Need to Kick Your Own Butt,’ ‘Bragging Rights: Transform Your Team in 21 Days,’ ‘I’ve Got the Power To Lead & Think Big,’ and ’50 Success Secrets of Feisty, Focused, Fearless, Fun Female Leaders.’

To learn more go to or call 904.280.8806 to book her for your event.


Posted in Inspiration, Leadership, Motivation, Self Development on June 15, 2017 by admin.
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