Growing up in the Bronx, my husband David and I learned to rely on ourselves. We both come from hardworking families, and as kids, we were often on our own. We took the subway solo, braving the city’s streets and learning to handle whatever life threw at us. The schools we attended were tough, where fights and gangs were common, and safety was something you fought for. Those experiences instilled a unique kind of grit—a toughness we carry with us today. Here are five powerful lessons from our journey that may inspire others to cultivate self-confidence, build strong partnerships, and live a bold and brave life.

1. Learn to Rely on Yourself First

From a young age, David and I learned that we had to depend on ourselves. Our parents worked hard but couldn’t always be there to guide us, so we found our own way. At 13, we both had our first jobs, hustling for everything we had. Knowing that we could handle life’s challenges on our own built a core confidence within us. This self-reliance has been key to our relationship; it allows us to bring our whole selves to each other, making us stronger as a couple. For anyone building confidence, self-reliance is essential. Trust in your own strength, face your challenges directly, and become someone you can count on. This foundation of inner strength makes relationships resilient because each partner brings their best self into the bond.

2. Have Each Other’s Backs, But Respect Independence

In our relationship, we have a rule: we protect each other, but we respect each other’s independence. We don’t step in to solve each other’s problems unless asked. This balance of support and respect has made us stronger individually and as a couple. We trust each other’s judgment and know we can count on one another, without the need to control or fix. Creating a strong partnership doesn’t mean losing your individuality. It’s about knowing you have someone in your corner while respecting that they may have a different way of handling things. By honoring each other’s independence, you cultivate a deep trust and loyalty that fuels a lasting relationship.

3. Build Confidence by Facing Tough Situations

Life in the Bronx taught us that confidence comes from facing difficult situations head-on. There were times we had to be tough, putting on a “don’t mess with me” exterior to make it through. That experience taught us to be fearless and confident in ourselves. When you face challenges directly, you build resilience and courage. This lesson isn’t just for people growing up in rough neighborhoods—it’s for anyone wanting to grow their confidence. Seek out experiences that push your limits and confront the uncomfortable moments. Each challenge you face builds a stronger, bolder version of yourself.

4. Create a “Tough Exterior” to Protect Your Inner Strength

Growing up in unpredictable environments, David and I both learned to put on a protective exterior. Our tough demeanor served as a shield, a boundary that allowed us to navigate challenging spaces while preserving our energy and focus. For anyone, boundaries are essential in protecting what’s most important to you, allowing you to maintain focus and keep negativity out. Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out—they’re about creating space for what matters. In our relationship, these boundaries have allowed us to stay connected, true to our values, and strong in the face of life’s pressures.

5. Value Your Individual Growth and Evolve Together

When David and I met in our late twenties, we already had a strong foundation in our shared values of resilience, hard work, and grit. But over the years, we’ve evolved together, moving through life as partners while growing individually. We’re not afraid to change, and we respect each other’s journey. Every relationship involves growth, both together and apart. It’s crucial to allow space for personal evolution, as this strengthens the partnership over time. Support each other’s dreams, celebrate each other’s victories, and adapt as you go. This approach creates a lasting bond rooted in mutual admiration and shared progress.

From navigating the tough streets of the Bronx to building a life of love and strength together, David and I have cultivated a bond that is fierce, resilient, and rooted in shared values. We are partners in the truest sense—watching each other’s backs, stepping up when needed, and growing together with respect for our individual strengths. Our story shows that with grit, independence, and love, you can build a partnership that is bold, brave, and unbreakable.