Having a wonderful networking experience occurs when you feel confident, and secure and know what to do when you're at a networking event. Most people encounter two different kinds of networking events. I'm going to give you just a few tips so that you can be confident, and secure because you know what to do.

In the process, you will gain influence and have an impact on those around you.

Let’s talk about two scenarios one that you're going to encounter.

1. A stand-up cocktail party or stand-up networking event

Often you are invited to participate in a cocktail party or stand-up networking event because of a group that you belong to or a group of people that you know will put you on a list and invited to participate. Sometimes it's your boss or a senior mentor who says you need to show up. What do you do when you get there because it feels awkward? We have all seen people standing along the sides holding up the wall and just looking awkward and uncomfortable and maybe you are one of those people. Not anymore.

The key to making this an effective event for you is to really be interested in the people and caring that they are comfortable. Taking the focus away from you and putting your focus on them. This will allow you to move through the room on a mission to “help people feel comfortable”.

You know the joy you feel when somebody says hello to you, welcomes you, or makes sure that you're taken care of. That's what you're going to do at this networking event. You are going to act as though you're the host. Don't worry you won't offend the host because usually, the host is an organization. Most times organizations or events never designate one person or group of people to be the host. So you are volunteering to be the host. Walk around the room to make sure the people have something to drink, that they know where the restrooms are, and that they feel welcomed.

Act as though you're the host. Ask them “What brings you here?” “Do you have everything you need? Shake their hand and move on to the next person. The more you stay on mission, welcoming people and making them feel that they are wanted, the better your experience. You will get you out of your head and you make the whole event a productive experience. Walk around the room twice. Say hello to at least three to four people each time, then you can leave. But don't be surprised you may find yourself talking to many people that you really do like, what a benefit! You will feel confident and secure and people will notice that, knowing what to do matters.

2. A sit-down dinner or lunch with 8 to ten people you don’t know.

You arrive at your table and you have to sit down with these 8 to 10 people that you don't know word. Awkward. What do you do in that event? The first thing you do is stand up, walk around the table to each person, and introduce yourself. Give them your card and say you're looking forward to sharing the table with them. The second thing that you do is that you take the lead around the table, while you're sitting and you say “Welcome to the table I would love for us to take a chance to introduce each other. Please state your name, where you work and what brought you here”

Indicate to the person to your right for them to begin. People get so happy that somebody takes the lead. So unless there's somebody designated at the table to be the host or the lead, take charge and do it. It makes a big difference to everyone's experience. After the introduction don't worry about having conversations with everybody at the table. By you encouraging them to introduce themselves you break the ice for them and then they will start talking to the person next to them.

Turn to the person to your right or to your left and always ask him “What brings you here?” and then listen. If they finish talking ask them “Where is your favorite vacation spot?”

People love talking about themselves so just engage them by asking questions. They'll ask you too and if they don't, don't worry about it just enjoy your lunch.